


The Rise and Fall of Wolfstar

by potterhead_fic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, harry po
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gay, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Harry Potter, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterhead_fic/pseuds/potterhead_fic
Summary: Two time lines in which Sirius Black and Remus Lupin (aka Wolfstar) start dating and have a fluffy moments and other one in which their relationship seems affected by the First Wizarding War. Fanfiction taken place at The Marauders Era on the years 1976 and 1981.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 3
Collections: Marauders Era





	The Rise and Fall of Wolfstar

Sirius P.O.V 1981  
I keep attaching myself to Remus. Like a fucking magnet. I love him. I love him so fucking much. And I don't know what to do. He keeps puching me away. Maybe if he'd tell me what is going on I could help. Like I've always helped him. But he doesn't. We are like bloody furniture around each other. We sleep next to each other but not cuddling like before. Like two strangers. Mostly is routine what we do, what we talk about, the sex we have.  
I honestly don't know how this happened. We used to be each other's world. I don't know when I stopped trusting him. I don't know when he started lying to me. I don't know when I started suspecting he might....  
No. I can think like that right now. The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for him. Tears run down my face. I limit myself to cry just when no one sees me. I don't want them to see I'm this weak. That I'm vulnerable for him. I'm currently watching him sleep. It was the full moon last night. He looks so peaceful. I'm afraid he would wake up. Because then I will see how broken we are. And it would hurt. Instead I smoke, I cry and I watch the love of my life sleep.

Remus P.O.V 1981  
My eyes always have a hard time adjusting to the light. Like a bloody hangover, but ten times worse. I look around hoping to see my friends like always. Hoping to see him. But then I remember what is happening. The war. I try to stand up but the memory drags me back. Nore James or Peter can be here but I see Sirius. He is sitting by the window. His head over his knees. He is shaking.  
"Pa.." my voice doesn't come out properly so I clear my throat "Sirius"  
He looks at me. His eyes are red but he tries to hide it. He has been crying, shit. "Hey" he says "How are you feeling?".  
Sirius knows very well how I feel after the full moon. He's been distant. He would've been hugging me and kissing me by this point. I don't answer. "Something hurts?" he asks. I say no with my head. "Good" he says "I left chocolate for you" he stands up "I... I'll let you rest".  
Old Sirius wouldn't leave me. He would be next to me, hug me and confort me even if I don't want to. I want that Sirius back. "Wait" I say. I want to beg him to lie with me, to hug me like before. He turns but he doesn't look at me "Don't you think we should talk?" I ask.

Sirius P.O.V 1976  
Moony looks like an angel while he sleeps. I smile to myself and my heart is jumping like a bloody pixie. James and Peter are talking and I gesture them to be quiet. Ever since I came to terms with my undying love for Remus, I've been smiling a lot, taking care of him, wanting to be around him. Fuck maybe I'm pretty obvious. But I just can't hide it. Remus opens his eyes. Those beautiful eyes. I make sure I'm the first thing he sees. And when he sees me, he bloody smiles. Oh shit! "Hey Moony" I say. He tries to speak but I don't let him. I know how tired he is. "It's okay, just rest" I stroke his hair. James and Peter look at me in suspicion. I stop doing it. "Hey mate" says James. And Peter smiles. "Does something hurt?" I ask. "No I'm fine" Remus answers. "Good" James says "We brought you breakfast. If you feel like it" Remus makes a face. "Or chocolate?" "I'll accept that" Remus opens it and devours the chocolate. He is freaking adorable. "Okay" says Peter "We have class don't we?" "Yes. I have to go. I have to give a good example" says James. We all laugh at that. "I do" he protests. "Are you coming mate?" James asks me. I look at Remus and I don't want to leave him. I will miss him, I'm sure. "Nah" I say "I think I'm gonna skip it. I'll be Monny's sexy nurse instead"

Remus P.O.V 1976  
I can't avoid blushing at Sirius words. He is making me blush a lot these days. Merlin, I hate him. No that's a lie. I love him. I have a crush that is killing me, because freaking Sirius Black is unreachable. Specially for someone like me. A chaotic gay werewolf, I guess. "Padfoot, you should go to class" I say with chocolate inside my mouth.  
"No Moony!" he protests "If you make me go, I'll get so bored!" I smile "Besides it's History of Magic. James loves it so he will tell me what they learned" adds Sirius. "Yeah right" says James sarcastically. "We'll tell Professor Binns that you are sick, Padfoot" says Pete "He wouldn't care anyway". They leave and I realize I'm with Sirius, alone. And he is looking at me. Merlin. "What?" I ask "Nothing, you are just adorable when you eat chocolate" he says laughing. I wipe my chin. Sometimes I'm a mess when I eat it. "Poppy will kick you out" I say. "I have James' invisivility cloak" he says "Hey, Moony, let's do something crazy" You can't imagine all the crazy things that go through my mind. "I mean if your body is up too" I swallow. "What? Like what?" I ask. I'm blushing again. "The question is, how are we going to convince Poppy to set you free?"

Sirius P.O.V 1981  
I sit down on the bed. Far away from Remus. He notices it. "What do want to talk about?" I ask. Fuck I know exactly what he is going to say. He thinks for a bit. "What is happening to us?" he asks. "What?" I don't dare to look at him. I'm not good with feelings. Well I used to be, only with Remus. "Siri... You were crying, weren't you?" Remus says. Shit. "And you sit far away from me?" I don't respond. I'm afraid my voice will brake. "Do you still love me?" I look at him. He has tears on his eyes. Of course I do. But I don't tell him that. The thing is that I don't know how to act around him anymore. I don't know if he wants my touch. "You've been lying to me" I finally say. He doesn't respond. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on? Are you gonna trust me again?" "I trust you" he says but he looks away "No you don't" I say. I sound rude. But I'm getting angry. That's the fucking Black part of me. "I saw that you've been investigating him and his gang" A few days ago I found The Daily Prophet's clippings of Voldemort and deatheaters like he was digging into their story, their past. Like he would want to become part of them. "You went through my drawers" he says "Because you don't fucking talk to me!" I yell. "Because I thought..." "You think I'm the spy, don't you?" he asks and my heart sinks. Fuck.

Remus P.O.V 1981  
I knew Sirius thinks I'm the spy. Deep down I knew. But somehow I lied to myself. I couldn't believe that my Padfoot, the boy who told me I wasn't a monster and that I was brave, now thinks that I could do something like that. I start crying. The pain I had from the transformation it's been replaced by a much worst pain in my chest. Please say no. Say that you trust me Sirius. "Why were you investigating the deatheaters?" he asks. He doesn't trust me. "I can't tell you" I say. Dumbledore gave me the mission to infiltrate into a werewolf pack that is supposely allying with Voldemort. I'm a spy giving Dumbledore any information we could use. I have those clippings because I needed to show them. I needed to know something for them to trust me. It was all part of a plan. Dumbledore said I should not tell anyone. Specially Sirius. I know him. The mission is too dangerous and he would do anything to stop me. Putting himself in danger as well. Those werewolves could kill us. I feel like I'm doing something important. So I don't tell him. "See? That's exactly what I'm taking about" he says. "I'm not the spy" I say. Not that spy at least. I try to sound confident but my voice is trembling. "I wouldn't do anything to James and Lily, Harry, Peter, anyone" Not you Sirius. "Then why don't you fucking tell me what's going on?" he is pleading. Getting near me. He wants to grab my hand but he doesn't. "You should trust me. Not assume things just because I'm a monster" I wait for him to tell me I'm not a monster. But he doesn't. "Fuck what is wrong with you?" he gets away from me "I don't recognize you anymore" I could say the same. I get angry. My temper around the full moon is always the worst. "Then FUCKING believe what you bloody want!" I yell "That's what you always do! You've been fucking sneaking around as well. Getting drunk and going Merlin knows where. Maybe I should think you are the spy"  
Sirius is crying now "I don't know you are you anymore" he says and he leaves. "Sirius!" I yell but he slams the door behind him. And I brust into tears.

Sirius P.O.V 1976  
"I think I should better rest in my dorm" Remus says to Poppy. I'm hiding under the invisivility cloak. "No offense but the bed here is too uncomfortable" I try not to laugh. "Don't Lupin. You know I can't" says Poppy. "I promise I will go straigth to bed, sleep a lot and drink all my potions on time" Remus makes a puppy face. And Poppy sights. "Fine. It's your responsabilty and you won't tell anyone about this. Or I'll probably get fired" Remus smiles and hugs her.  
Now we both get under the invisivility cloak and I take Remus hand. I hope he doesn't mind. I take him by the lake to the place I went alone when Remus and my friends were angry at me. I try to take that image out of my head. We sit there side by side. "This place is beautiful" Remus says. I try to be careful and gentile. He is still a bit weak from the night before. "I know" I say "Good place to think" I remember here is where I realized how I feel for Remus. I take a joint out. Remus smiles. "It's medicinal. For your pain" I say. Remus shakes his head. I lit the joint and give it to him. He takes a drag and I just look at him. "You are so amazing you know?" He looks at me blushing. I love when he blushes just for me. "Why? Because I smoke joints?" I laugh "No, because you are so brave. You go through hell evey month and here you are" I smile "Getting high with me after a freaking full moon, looking bloody cool" He smiles. "It's not cool being a monster" I see a hair dropping onto his eyes. I put it behind his ear "You are not a monster" I say. I kiss Remus forehead and somehow I stay there feeling his scent. And then without thinking I kiss him on the mouth. 

Remus P.O.V 1976  
Holy shit! Sirius just kissed me! Am I dreaming? I pinched myself and it hurt. "I'm sorry" Sirius says "I didn't..." But I stop him by kissing him back. This time more confident. I just want to enjoy the moment. Kissing Sirius is amazing. I haven't kissed many people before but I haven't felt butterflies in my stomach or my skin burning. Sirius smiles between kisses which makes my heart jump. I kissed him until we are phyisically tired and we are out of breath. Then we lay down. I put my head on his chest. Sirius laughs and I can hear his heart beating fast. "I wanted to that for a long time" he says "Me too" I respond smiling "I didn't believe you would like me" "Moony, I've loved you for a long time. I just didn't realize it until recently" I smile onto his chest "Yeah?" I ask. Now I face him. He looks so handsome. With his cheeks slightly red. He never blushes, only for me. "On second year, after we found out about you, the next full moon, I sneaked into The Hospital Wing. I watched you sleep. With those little scars of yours" he touches my scars on my face and I close my eyes. "And I just thought you were the most amazing person I've known. And I hold your hands. Then I knew. But I was too young and scared. So I tried dating girls instead" My heart is beating fast. I don't know if he is telling the truth, but I believe every word he says. And I kiss him again. "I've been waiting so long for you" I say. Then I lay my head on his chest again. "How are going to tell James and Peter?" I ask smiling. Wait are we boyfriends, are we dating or something? Sirius laughs. "I don't know"  
We kiss more and more. My lips are numb and I lost track of time. But I could stay here forever. Sirius kisses my neck, while I close my eyes. "Moony?" he says against my neck. I can feel his warm breath "Mmm?" "Promise you will never leave me" he says. And I smile because I'm sure of my answer "Never" I answer.

Sirius P.O.V 1981  
I'm fucking drunk. Seriously I can even walk properly. I don't know how did I just apparate without dying or loosing an arm or something. I'm walking towards James'. I need to tell him something important. I knock the door like crazy. Jamie hurry up. He opens the door and I can see he is very pale. He sights when he sees me "Sirius" "Heeyaa Jamiee" I hug him. "You fucking scared me. Arrg.. " he pushes me away. "You sting" I laugh "Oh well thank you" "Have you been drinking?" he asks crossing his arms. Sometimes he acts like a bloody mom. "I've to tell ya something Jamie" I say "Merlin, Sirius" he says taking from my shoulders "Let's go outside. I don't want Lily or Harry to see you like this" He drags me outside and we sit on the sidewalk. Merlin, I'm so dizzy that I almost fall backwards. James holds me and I laugh. "Jamie" "Fuck it Sirius! Have you been drinking all day?" "Jus' alittle... I have to tell ya somthing. We... need ta change the secret keeper" "What? Why?" I can see James shaking from the cold. "The Order knows. I'm your... Maybe we should change. If the Order knows... Remus...I mean... the spy knows" I made a dramatic face. But James is really serious, he doesn't laugh. "Remus is not the spy. That's fucking ridiculous" I ignore him. "What do I always hav'ta love people who are drawned to the dark side. Firs' it was Reggie. And he end up killed. The bastard... And now Remus..." I sight and I start crying. James hugs me. "Remus is not the spy" he says "None of my friends are" I cry even more on his shoulder "We'll talk about this when you are sobber, okay?" He forces me to look at him "Hey, talk to Remus. He is not the spy" I look away from him. "I want you to sobber up, go home and talk to Remus okay?" I don't answer. He doesn't freaking understand is not that easy. "Okay?" he repeats and I nod. "I love him" I say "I know" he says kissing my forehead. "I fucking love him Jamie" Suddenly I don't feel that well and I vomit all the alcohol. "Aaargg, mate" James protests.

Remus P.O.V 1981  
I just stare at the plain wall. I think I've wasted all my tears because I can cry anymore. I've been sitting in the exact same position all day. I didn't even dare to move. I don't have the energy to do anything. I kept thinking about what happened. Maybe I deserve this. I have let myself be too happy with Sirius. And now I'm paying. I hate myself. I hate being a werewolf. I hate being in a fucking war. I hate being a monster. I am a monster. I don't care what everybody says. Sirius wouldn't suspect that I'm the spy other wise. I love him so much. How can't he see that? How could he think I could hurt him? James, Lily, Peter, Harry, freaking Harry. When I thought my tears were dry, I start crying again. Do James and Lily also think that I'm the spy? Does Peter? Maybe I'll be good dead. I consider the possibilities but then I think on the mission. Then I think that if I die, nobody would know I was actually innocent. I hear the door open. I start shaking. I don't know why. It is James with Sirius on his arms. "Prongs?" I ask. He is not supposed to get out of his house. He drops Sirius into the bed. Sirius stars laughing but closes his eyes. He stinks of alcohol. "There you go wanker" he says to Sirius "Moony" he says to me "How are you?" I stand up quickly and hug him with tears in my eyes. I don't know what Sirius has told him. Or of he thinks I'm the spy. But I just want to make sure he feels how much I love him. I would never hurt him. He smiles "Let him sleep" he says "But I think you two should talk. You love each other. If we don't trust each other, then we have nothing" I just nod. My throat is so dry that I don't think I can speak right now. "I have to go" he rubs my hair and crosses the door, closing it behind him. I hear him apparate. I sit down on bed again watching at Sirius. "Answering your question" he says with his eyes closed "Moony..." he calles me Moony again "I still love you". And I cry again. I want to hug him or kiss him but I don't. Perhaps tomorrow we can talk. And we can fix this.


End file.
